It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
