we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
