Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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