so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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