Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
