the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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