I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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