How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
