ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
