Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
