last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
where are you?
Hypothermia
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
