i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
