Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
