she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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