i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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