you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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