If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
