she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
