dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
