who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
