Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
