"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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