is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
