you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
