if you like me you must not know who I am
my mouth tastes like poor choices
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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