So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
