I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
