i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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