I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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