he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
