Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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