Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
