Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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