okay pat passed out under dana's car
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
