Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
