i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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