I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
