Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
