How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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