# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
