I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
