every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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