i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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