I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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