haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
