I am in a vortex of obligation.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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