dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
