i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
