You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
