yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
