Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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