hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
