All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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