so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
