He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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