Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
