watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
