He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
