I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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