I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
